Wednesday, February 11, 2015

So We Broke Up

I guess I never talked about it here, that Jo and I dated once. For a bit of time, I'd say a month, we were together. And honestly, I don't think it went very well. I mean we didn't break up badly, but the fucker left me without an explanation. I had to go consult like 3~4 people be fore I got my answer, which I won't say because I would rather forget it.

(One guy said it was because his parents found out, another said it was because he didn't like me that way anymore. Couldn't tell which was the truth. Gave up in trying to figure out.)

While Jo and I were dating it was kinda... weird. We were together, but when I think about it I don't think I remembered much except the fact that we talked about the most normal things, held hands, had lunch, and... That was it. I think it was more present in the physical side than anything else. I really don't remember anything else.

The funny thing is after we broke up I had this weird obsession with the guy. Poor dude, I feel a little sorry. While I did my best to actively avoid him I was also actively trying to talk to him. Needless to say my grades went downhill from there. I think I became the clingy, annoying little sister. Until my friend had a crush on him, then I found myself letting go and getting a move on.

So hey, moral of the story is that I can go from sweet innocent child to creepy psychopathic stalker in less than 5.

5 what you say? Well...

5...

4...

3...

2...

1...

...

Better get running, fucker.

-Signing out, Kyoko

Sunday, February 1, 2015

The Mask I Wear - Personality Complex

"See here the mask that I wear

Is slowly breaking.

Each time you tell me,

'You're a liar' and that would the be the truth

The real me right here...

Is loved more than anything

Please break the mask

Even if it scares me,

Even if these feelings are far too late,

I'm sure that I would make it in time.

And now,

I wonder if you'd still forgive me...

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Pretend

"Let's pretend that I'm okay." 


Okay, I'm going to talk. And you're going to listen. 

I have deleted these sentences over 20 times.

I have procrastinated my homework since 5 hours ago.

I haven't done shit.

I'm tired.

I'm sad.

I'm scared.

I'm worried.

I don't know why either.

Typing like this helps.

"Let's Pretend I'm not screaming."

Today is a mess

Tomorrow is a deadline.

Yesterday was hell.

What's this week going to be like?

Suddenly I see that yellow circle.

A blue logo pops up

And I see his message.

Something in me is awake.

I type back my reply.

"Let's Pretend I'm happy."

Today is a mess

Tomorrow is a deadline.

Yesterday was okay.

This week was fun.

I saw that yellow circle

In it was a '1'

The blue logo was bright

And I saw his message.

Something in me was awakened.

And it is something we call 'love'.

He is my Support.


"Let's Pretend."

"I want to break the mask."
"You're beautiful"
"See, your mask is breaking."
"I want you to be happy."
"I want you to be you."
"I want you to be okay again."
"I want you to be smiling."

...

Today, I stopped pretending.











-I love you